The value and dangers of reciprocity

It is well known that human beings have a natural tendency for reciprocity. We are not nearly as selfish and self interested as some might argue and actually can be far nicer and more cooperative than the self-interested lobby would have us believe. Pro-social behaviours are well documented, where one persons response to one act of kindness can often exceed the value of the original act  But our desire to reward one good deed for another is also balanced out by a capability for vindictiveness that goes much further ,and is far more brutal, than our capacity for “niceness”.

So why does this matter to you? Well, happy customers will tell 8 others; unhappy ones will tell 16. Unhappy ones will go further, posting videos on youtube, writing angry reviews on Trust PIlot, ranting in private and actively discouraging others. And with referral still the most effective medium for acquiring new customers, that’s a problem. But worse, the vast majority of customers won’t even tell you about their poor experience and so you won’t even know about the conversations they’re having with others until its too late.

I think the vast majority of service experiences customers have do not meet their expectations but they continue buying because the customer doesn’t want to rock the boat when no other viable option exists. I suspect that’s why they don’t bother telling you. The way reciprocity works here is that customers are prepared to forgive service faults so long as the business acknowledges them and puts them right. Often these exchanges are unfair on customers, something they are acutely aware of and influence their appetite to reciprocate. The big problem is that imperfect and unbalanced relationships like this mean your reputation pivots on a knife edge. In this place, you don’t benefit from referrals and are at risk of plunging into the brutal world of revenge. All it takes to end up there is for the customer to find a better alternative or for their tolerance to snap.

So what do your customers feel about you? Isn’t it time to find out? It could make a world of difference to them and you.

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